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I want to be a grandmother one day, I want to sit in a rocking chair on my front porch next to my husband, while I watch my grandkids play in the front yard and drink lemonade.

I want to give all my worries to God, to never have to carry their weight on my shoulders again, to know He will take them and replace them with absolute Faith.

I want my family to know that I will always be here for them.  That I will do anything and everything in my power to make this life the best I can.

I want to be able to take my kids to the park, to the zoo, to the beach without having to worry about medications or the weather or how my body is going to feel that day.

I want the world to know that there is a group of diseases called Spondylitis, and I have one of them, Ankylosing Spondylitis.  I didn’t ask for it, I don’t want it, but it’s here so I need to make the best of it.

I want my body to know that it can fuse my spine, and it can damage all my joints, but it will not damage my spirit and my soul that lives within.

I want my kids to know that I didn’t have this disease before I had them, but I do have it now, and even though I know how hard it is to be a mom with AS, I would never not want to be their mother and I will always try to be the best mom I can be.

I want my friends to know that I hate having to cancel plans, and I hate not being able to answer their phone calls.  I wish I wasnt that sick friend who flakes out.  I will always do the best that I can to be there for them, disease or not.

I want my dad to know that I love him, and I am so proud of him.  I want him to know that even though I can’t work like I used to, that I am still me, and I will still try to make him proud.

I want everyone to know that my mother is in Heaven, and that she has been there for over 10 years, and I still can’t think about what that means.  My heart will never be whole, and I walk around expecting people to see me falling apart.

I want all medical professionals to know that people with pain didn’t ask to hurt.  Please treat us the way you would treat your own parent, spouse, or child, and when a patient tells you they need help, help them without judgement.

I want to wake up without pain, I want to get through an entire day with nothing but happiness and joy.  I want to be carefree and just have fun.

I want to fall asleep with ease, and to sleep like a baby, then to wake up feeling rested and healthy.

I want to look to the future with hope and great expectations.  I want this disease to know it will not keep me from making goals, or from accomplishing them.

I want to be free of bitterness and anger.  I want to let go of the attitude that I am generally unaware of.  I want everyone to like me, I want everyone to know who I really am on the inside.

I want to be healthy.  I want my body to work right, and to be at a healthy weight, to be able to touch my toes, and to pick up my kids.

I want my body to be the 32 years old it is, instead of the 92 years old it feels.

I want to know that all my friends are happy and healthy.  I want them to know they will never be alone, or in pain, or sad again, that we will always have a solution for every problem.

I want to be understood.  I want to be able to communicate my feelings accurately and to be able to help others with my words.

I want my students to know that I cherish the years I had with them.  I want them to know I am proud of them and I love them like they were my own children.

I want everyone to know that the sky is the limit.  Life is what we make it, so lets make it great.

I want my husband to know that I love him more than anything in this world.  He completes me, and our lives may not be perfect, but I am completely in love with him, and I will never give up on us.

I want those of you who read my blog to know that it means so much to me, your comments and encouragement gives me strength I didn’t know I had, and you are not alone as long as I am around.

I want the future to be amazing, I hope it is full of good surprises, full of family and friends, and full of perfect memory making moments.

I want to remember that sometimes things won’t turn out the way I would have wanted, and that I will be ok with that.  I want to always keep in mind that life has this funny way of working itself out.

I want a cure for all illnesses, but especially for Ankylosing Spondylitis, and for the ignorance that surrounds this disease.

What do YOU want?